Daddy, you have to play court with me.
I’ll be judge. You sit on this chair.
Who am I?
You are the accuser! SIT DOWN! You are on trial. You are ACCUSER!
Um, Ethan. Accuser is the person who accuses people.
Than who is the person who is accused?
What a stupid word.
Is this a fair trial or a kangaroo court?
SHUT UP! Silence in my court. Where is my hammer?!
Guess that answers my question.
You are accused of eating a… Jelly doughnut! How do you plead?
(Thinking how can I move this along so this is over with faster.) I plead guilty. I did it.
Let the trial begin. Defendant will present evid…
Wait. I pleaded guilty. I did it. We don’t need trial.
SILENCE! We now have a trial to see if you did it.
….Shit. There goes my afternoon.
(10 minutes later)
(Ethan speaking as a Toy lawyer): And as you can see evidence shows there is no donut in his mouth and the DNA shows that the he did NOT eat the doughnut.
(As judge. pointing at me): So, daddy, Who do you sentence?!
I don’t sentence anyone. You’re the judge. You sentence people.
Ok. I sentence the witness Rubber Ducky.
You’re sentencing my witnesses?
(Ethan as rubber ducky): I saw him do it.
Ethan I don’t think you understand what you’re talking about or what these words mean.
SILENCE! Order in my court!
(To Jury) Jury how do you “distlose”
(Ethan as Jury with 5 stuffed toys):
Jury 1: Guilty
Jury 2: Guilty
Jury 3: innocent
Jury 4: Innocent
Jury 5: innocent
(As Judge): The “berdict” is reached. You are guilty. I sent you to 1 million years in jail.
For eating a doughnut? Wait. Didn’t the majority find me not guilty? But I still go to jail? (should be used to this type of system now…sigh)
SILENCE! 1 million years in jail. Put on these handcuffs.
But don’t break them ok daddy? I need them later.
Now you DIE!