My Son Is Trying To Murder Me – Ethan’s World

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(This happened when Ethan was 6 years old. I know the pics don’t reflect this so just use your imagination.)

 

I think my son is trying to murder me. Sloney is his little Fred Fredburger stuffed doll he’s had since he was three

 

Meet “Sloney”

.Sloney scanned

 

 

 

ethan_happy
(Comes up to me and gives me a big tight heartwarming hug.) Daddy, I love you. Please don’t leave me.

 

 

rudy_happy
Son. I’m not leaving you.

 

 

ethan_sad
I just don’t want you to go away.

 

 

rudy_laugh
Where would I go? Why do you think I’m going away?

 

 

ethan_sad
I just……you know,  I don’t want you to suddenly go away somewhere?

 

 

rudy_smartass
Where would I suddenly go away?

 

 

ethan
To the factory.

 

 

rudy_authority
What factory?

 

ethan
The factory where you get your head chopped off.

 

 

rudy_angry
WHAT?!

 

 

ethan_facepalm
(Still hugging me) Not me. But Sloney. He said you are going to the chopping factory where they will chop off your head.

 

 

rudy
Why don’t you go floss your teeth.

 

(Ethan leaves and grabs his toy Sloney and starts playing with him behind me. He starts talking to his imaginary friend Sloney. He talks to his doll Sloney and than responds to himself imitating Sloney in a creepy voice. Think “RedRum” voice from  “The Shining” )
ethan
Sloney. I don’t want Daddy to leave.

 

 

Sloney scanned
(Ethan imitating Sloney’s voice) Ethan, I want Daddy to go away. He’s gonna go to the chopping factory where his head will be cut off.

 

ethan_shout
No Sloney!   Don’t say such things. You can’t do this to Daddy.

 

Sloney scanned
Yes I can. Don’t stop me. I’m sending him to the chopping factory.  He’s going to the factory and they will chop off his head.

 

 

ethan_angry
No. Sloney I will punish you!

 

 

Sloney scanned

I will send Daddy to the chopping factory.

 

 

rudy_facepalm
Yeah… I’m fucked.

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