(This event occurred in Houston during the Hurricane Harvey flood and tornado warning).
Hurricane Harvey was one of the most devastating hurricanes to hit Houston. The devastation was immense.
To prepare for the impending attack from mother nature (who herself is being attacked by climate change deniers), my family calmly, carefully, and logically laid out a very careful, meticulous, and thought out plan to get us calmly through the situation………………..
(As the hurricane approaches our location soon……)
I feel we should have done something to prepare better for the incoming hurricane.
What did you want to do?
They’re showing on the news how everybody is at HEB grocery store stocking up on supplies, buying extra food and items at the grocery store for emergencies. I feel we should do something too.
Wanna order Dominos Pizza?
Done. Dominos, send over two large pies.
I feel better now.
Ok. Just got another tornado warning.
We get one every 20 minutes. So?
This notification is different. It’s in our area and heading straight for us. Grab Ethan, get into the bathroom, and put your hands over your head.
Ethan, a tornado may be coming towards us, so I need you to very CALMLY get into the bathroom, sit down on the floor and put your hands over your head.
Aaaaaaaaaah Tornado. Tornado. (Running around aimlessly)
(Grabs him and places him in the bathroom).
Marianna, keep him there for now. Marianna?… Marianna?! Where the hell is she?
(Goes outside into the hallway to find her in the kitchen brewing a pot of coffee.)
Are you fucking kidding me?! There is likely a tornado coming towards us. They said to take cover within the next 5 minutes and you decided this is a good time to make coffee?!
I wanted to make coffee.
Unfucking believable! We’re about to get killed by a tornado and she’s making coffee!
We’re gonna get killed?!
No.. no no no no… I didn’t mean…we’re…
(Runs out of the bathroom).….Aaaaaaaaaah Tornado! Tornado!
(Running around aimlessly)